Okay, well, were to start? Pfft. This week's been one long rollercoaster ride.
On Sunday, I got ill. But not just sick, I mean seriously ill. My symptoms were so bad, that my mum (and even I,) believed that I was dying. At first I cried. A lot. I just didn't know what to do. I mean, I know I've wanted to die before, but I'm happy now. I'm content with who I am, what I have and what's happened in the past. It's something I can't change and have to deal with. So I was shocked, I didn't want to die. I'm sixteen, my lifes barely started. But after a couple of hours, I started to plan. In case whatever I had, made me lose any ability to use my limbs, I wrote letters to each person who mattered in my life. Then I went on to make an informal will (not being of age to actually be able to make one.) I know I sound crazy, but when you believe that you're about to leave your loved ones behind, its one of the main things you think about. On Monday, my mum took me to the GP (Doctor), who took tests. On Tuesday, I got the all clear. I can't, even now, believe how relieved I was. I cried, again. I just couldn't believe, that I'd had 24 hours of being sure that I was going to die. I mean, I seriously thought I was a goner.
And the lesson to be learnt from this, is not to type your symptoms in Google Search. Especially if it will come up with Cancer, as one of the illnesses.
Then comes to Wednesday. For those of you who don't know, I started College. Yup, me, a College Kid. It was scary, but I soon got into the swing of things and really, people were lucky if they could shut me up. I took: Biology, Psychology, Sociology and Maths, and am pretty happy with my choices, though I would mind switching Biology. I've also made friends, YAY ME! But the weirdest thing for me, is that, people I barely ever talk to, are now some of the people that I talk to the most. Like the people in my form. There is Tom V (who I have never talked to), Tom F (who was in my form at school, but I haven't talked to him in over a year) and Lewis (he is the most annoying person on the face of the planet.) But the worst part for me was on Thursday. Not only were we in, but also the 2nd years. Due to me living far from the bus stop I get a special bus, with about 10 other people. Two of those ten, being part of the four guys who called me Burnt Fucking Arab. Can you say awkward? Thankfully, they haven't got to me. If anything, we've been owning them :) haha. But one thing I hate, is barely knowing anyone. I mean I do sometimes pass a few familiar faces, but only like one out of one hundred.
But let me tell you one thing for sure, College is tiring! I get home and am zonked.
Oh reminds me! I met this girl in my Maths called Mouse(?!) who I think is Indian/Pakistani. She walked up to me and asked whether I was Asian, and I of course said that I'm half Indian. She replied with an 'Oh...so you're mixed.' I just stared at her for like five minutes before walking away. Then, the next day, she came up to me and was like 'You're the mixed girl! Do you like being mixed?!' I couldn't believe that anyone would ask such a stupid thing. I mean what did she expect me to say back? pfft. She also went up to Emily and asked where her jeans were from. Em told her Primark and she said 'oh, you can tell.' :O rude. She such a bitchy person.
I'm pissed off today. My best friend is such a fucking hypocrite. One of other friends, Liv, did weed, and Emily was like 'Oh you'll get hooked and then overdose and die.' or something along those lines. Today, she went off with Liv to go do weed. WTF? I just can't understand her anymore. Truthfully, were falling apart, but shes so wrapped up in herself that she doesn't even see it. She's not the same person that I became best friends with. I hate to say it, even though Emily and I are fallin' apart, I actually don't really care. I dunno, I just expected to feel something...anything. But...I don't. At all. Well maybe slightly empty, but its not like I can't find someone else to fill this gap in me. But when I told her that we're just not best friends anymore, she was like 'Oh we're just not trying hard enough.' Hard enough?! You don't even come and see me, and when you do, you barely talk to me! Un-fucking-believeable.
(sorry, rant over...I think.)
Time to talk about Boys. Okay, well lets start with the people who went to my school. Since we've started College, I've grown closer to Adam and Richard. And well I have a sorta kinda crush. ERR. I know. I'm stupid. I mean, Adam has a girlfriend! And he's also quite a manwhorish guy. Then Richard. Hmm. Well I just don't get Richard, he's too complicated for normal people to understand. He's just too bloody confusing! Anyways, yesterday, Adam and I walked to the centre of Scunthorpe. It took ages, but we talked all the way there. That happens to be the first time he's opened up to me, and just makes me realise how awesome he is. While we were there, we got chatting about his gang. I subtly asked whether Richard was in love with Charlotte (everyone thought so.) but Adam told me no....so. I don't know. But I'm not gonna get hung up on any of this, cos theres fresh meat in college ;) and PHWOAR.
I'm off to go see COLDPLAY in 2 days!!
Okay, so Love you guys, tell me what you've been up to, tell me anything.
:D
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